Just A Wee Bit Of Inspiration For Today.

Mid 70s, straight into the Bradbury Lines’ boy band.

A short reminiscence of a moment in time.

Roughly three-quarters of the way around the longest route on the first phase of SAS selection for 22 SAS Regiment, a route named the endurance march, something hit me like a mallet.

I was 20 years young and physically immature even for the age. On this particular event, I’d find out that I was also mentally immature.

Up until this point on selection’ test week I had flown through. To the point that the instructors would set me off last to see if I would be daft enough to try and come in first.

I did…every time.

Again, on “Endurance” students that were left at this point were sent off at 5 minute intervals…I was last to be sent off.

It was cold and wet, the fog was down but the wind was blowing and after the first couple of hours the fog became intermittent. That allowed me to have an idea of where I was in the pecking order, as we all made our way individually from check point to check point.

After the Fan and crossing the road at the Storey Arms, I had just passed to the north of Fan Fawr on my way to the Cray Reservoir when the fog lifted, and the sun at last came out.

For the first time I could see for miles. As we were all taking the same route, I could only see one lad in front of me, and he was quite a way ahead.

All of a sudden, stupidity, naivety and youth took over combined.

I started running…in places one should never run….deep pan pizza.

I fell, got up and ran…I fell, got up and ran…I fell, got up and ran.

I was getting closer to him, then…

Whack…at this point I’d stopped hurting, I’d stopped crying…I’d stopped thinking…almost.

It was time to give up. I’ve run completely out of petrol, physically and mentally…just give up.

I’d never been in that position before in my short military career. I stopped, sat on my Bergen, slipped off the Bergen and lay in the damp deep pan pizza looking at the blue sky and puffy white clouds screaming across the sky.

Maybe 5 minutes went by.

The mind began to tick over. I’m not finished yet. I’m going to take time out, make myself a hot sweet brew, get something hot to eat, take my time, adjust my tactics…”that would be easy, I’d just have to tab sensibly!”

I remember thinking, “I wonder how many lads in the past or even today will throw their hand in because they’re totally exhausted, when all they need to do is do what I’m doing now. Sit, rest, chill, drink, eat, think.

I did all that in about 20 to 25 minutes max.

Instead of giving up, I filled up my empty tank, it put fuel into my body, and most importantly into my wee brain.

My mindset was better. No more hurt, no more crying, no more trying to be first.

At the end of “Endurance” I would come in second…but with the fastest time overall.

I learnt a lot from my mistakes, my ambitions to always be first…but most of all, I learnt that when it’s time to give up…just rest a bit, take in the scenery, think, fuel up…and go again.