Getting up early and it’s still completely dark
Before the dogs wake and begin to bark
Feeling across for my pants
As they slide off the chair, leading to one of my quiet rants
My wife is still fast asleep, 5am is no time for her to wake
I’m moving as stealthily as I can
Not till 7 will she require a shake
I feel across the floor, they must be between here and the door
Found them at last
As I pull them on fast
Socks, shirt and shorts
Frustration is leading to all sorts
I’ve been getting dressed in the dark for years
But to leave something behind has always been one of my fears
Back in the days of operating in the trees
I’d check all my kit on bended knees
Weapon, magazines, Bergen and belt kit
Basha packed away, everything must fit
Sitting on my Bergen, “stood too” before first light
A great time for an enemy attack
Even before any of us has had our daily shite
But here I am today retired
Badly letting myself down
If I’m to be in a bad road accident
The paramedics will no doubt frown
Why’s he wearing his pants on backwards?
They will be heard to say
They just won’t understand that having got dressed in the dark for years
Today was just a bad day
Bob Shepherd 