I will continue to push normalising my life for the time that I have left. Fitness, mental ability, and the flowing of my body’s chemicals to bring out the good feelings are all important.
Since I can remember, my life has always been about using my sixth sense.
I’m sure that everyone thinks that they have it, but I know that I have it, and it’s been used since I was just a wee boy.
From growing up within a dysfunctional family of drink and physical abuse, to running away as a child, to surviving until I was old enough to join the military, through my military career, for almost 18 years after my military career, working as a global security consultant in the world’s bad places.
During the many years of the above, my body and my mind got used to making calls through the ever-increasing sixth sense.
Like many things in human anatomy and physiology, experts are divided as to what exactly the sixth sense is.
One thing I do know though, as the years went on, growing up and in my professional life, I craved it, lived off of it, and therefore believed strongly in it.
Which is why so many early calls in time of extreme danger, and the right calls at that, has allowed me to get to retirement and be able to write this down today.
The downside (and this will sound crazy to many), is that now I’m retired, as much as I love my day to day “new life,” my body and mind craves the use of my sixth sense.
It’s not required anywhere close to the extent of my past life. My new life is slower paced, safer, and I’m thinking a lot less in the milisecond to make the right calls.
It’s been hard to get used to. Angry at bone-headed drivers, dog owners who don’t pick up their dogs’ mess, and rude people who don’t acknowledge me when I say “good morning.” How childish of me, however, subconsciously it’s been my way of making up for the lack of use of my sixth sense.
So…I miss the old times whenever I’m away from my wife and family. Even during the day, when I go off and have a quiet breakfast in a local cafe.
I’m lost!
I’m not one of those people surrounding me in the cafe, chatting with others around their table, or even alone, with an empty coffee cup and immersed in their computer. I’m different, lost even, craving the bad lands, so that I can get my buzz from the almost continuous use of my own sixth sense.
For those five people who follow my blog posts, you’ll know that I suffer from traumatic brain injury. But this is mixed in too. And it took me a good while to work out what it was that I was lacking today.
My sixth sense has slowed dramatically. For most of my life, it was something that I took for granted…until I no longer needed it in the manner previously.
Bob Shepherd 